Judgments have a habit of being wrong
Posted By admin on July 13, 2009
Sometimes when we pass judgment on people _ our friends and neighbors, or even on someone we have just met _ we act like the judge at a dog show.
Have you ever watched them work? They have the animals led around in a circle while they decide whether this bloodhound is a better representation of his breed than a miniature pinscher is of his breed.
I know there are rules to guide the judge, but it looks arbitrary nonetheless. The animals are so different they hardly seem to belong to the same species.
Forgive me for comparing humans with a lower form of life, but you must admit we are all different, too. There is no one else on earth like you. We are each one of a kind, yet we tend to pass judgment on everyone we meet. We like them or don’t like them, trust them or don’t trust them, often without any concrete facts.
How can we break this unhappy pattern? Why can’t we at least wait for something more than suspicion? Besides, who appointed us the judge in the first place?
Today I asked some friends for some examples that support my point. A nurse talked about her husband. She said, “When I was engaged to him, many friends cautioned me, ‘He is too old for you. You’ll find him dull. You won’t be happy with that man.’ They were all wrong. He was a fine man and a wonderful father for my three children. We were all very happy together. My family all loved the man.”
I met a lady who once worked here. She was a staff member who left for a higher salary. She said, “The gentleman who interviewed me for the new job was kindly, attractive and seemed very helpful. The work he described was right for my ability and training. The problem is that my job description has changed almost weekly. The company was not really honest. I’m already trying for a position with another firm.”
A young certified nurse’s assistant talked about her English teacher. “I was scared of her class (after) another student judged her to be the meanest teacher she had ever had,” she said. “I found that judgment to be very unfair. She was a good teacher _ she just wanted your best effort. She made the class fun. I learned a lot from her.”
Something about the nature of mankind causes bad news or opinions to travel much faster than do good reports. If one of us makes a negative judgment about another, the ripple effect takes over and by the time the subject learns of the bad report, half a dozen others may have repeated it.
If the “judge” was wrong in the first place, it may be years before all the ill effects are wiped off the record.
Examples of misjudgments must be common in schools; I recently learned of a second teacher badly misjudged.
A high school graduate told how her entire class had called the teacher tough, mean and unfair. This student, however, said, “She was my favorite teacher. I still send her flowers of thanks.”
When I pushed for an explanation, I was told, “The class was lazy. She brought out the best in me. I loved her.”
If you speak evil of others, it will become magnified. Be kind in your judgments, or forever hold your peace.
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